this has got to stop.

I'm addicted to sugar. Of the chocolate variety, specifically. I need it after every meal and eat whatever I can scrounge up--a handful of chocolate chips, the one minute emergency chocolate cake on this great blog, chocolate milk, or a Nesquick shake (a Matt specialty).
I was doing great before we moved here because we were homeless for a bit and I couldn't get my hands on as much as I wanted. But I think something about wanting to make our new home seem more homey caused me to start a baking fetish. What could be more welcoming than some fresh peanut butter chocolate chip cookies? Every day?
I'm ruining myself. I weigh less than I ever have in my adult life, but that's thanks to nursing and certainly not because I exercise and eat healthily. Well, that's not entirely true. I eat healthy balanced meals. I just follow them with excessive amounts of treats. Tonight, for example, I happened to escape the post-dinner crave because Tom required his crib right away. When I emerged, I began my nightly persuading of the husband to support me in my habit. It starts like this:
N: I need a treat.
M: No you don't.
N: Don't you just want some no-bakes?
M: No. I'm sick of those.
N: But everything else just takes so many ingredients.
And we go back and forth for a while and then I get caught up on the computer and almost forget about it when Matt says, "Fine. Just make whatever."
He has given me the go-ahead. I'm practically forced.
So I jovially whip up a batch and we devour with glee. As I pour the last drops of milk into my glass (leaving none for cereal in the morning), I realize that it's super late and now I'm all sugared up and won't be able to sleep for a while and Tom has had horrid nights lately and I'm really going regret my choice AND there are still waay too many cookies left in the kitchen that are going to stare me down all day long tomorrow.
So that's the story of my nasty habit. I regret my actions and I'm promising myself to do better starting NOW.